about life

yap im very fuckt up...i tryed to do something with my life...after i came to mexico i have a really hard life...but who care about it???maeby God...I tryed to make something to make my mind fresh about why Im here...and I talk with the leader of Dts Pachuca...to go there and try to make again my relationship with God back...and he say ok there is a conference 1 week with other Dts but I have to pay 800 pesos...so I did not go because I did not have money...but in this world its everything its about money...even if its about your soul you have to pay...to save people you have to pay...they have to pay...why??????????????I dont know if I really want to live in this world anymore...im lost...very lost...very closed...so I cant help nobody in this situation...not even my self...may God bless you all and hope that you will find an answer for all this...